Up until maybe a couple of weeks ago my whole mantra was “Run To The Roar, ” which is the title of my book.

It essentially meant go at the problem, deal with the problem, it’s never quite as bad as you think it is.

Recently, I had open-heart surgery, 11 weeks ago, and it was a shock.

I had no symptoms. I didn’t know what was what was going on. I had what they called the Widowmaker. The doctor said, “You know your first symptom would be your last symptom- you would just drop dead like Hank Gathers. You have no idea you had this.”

One of the things that I’ve come upon in these 11 weeks of rehab, which have been very hard, is the term forward.

I’m actually going to get a tattoo on my wrist this week and it’s going to simply be the word forward, because life is about moving forward always.

“When the ship is going through the water, it comes upon obstacles- things that threaten to clog up the motor and get the boat to be bogged down. The boat must just keep moving forward.”

Life gets hard and we all deal with issues. For instance, last week, I had my wallet stolen and somebody tried to clean out my checking account. In the past, that would be the kind of thing that would typically bog me down.

I went, I froze the credit cards. I did what I needed to do to protect our identity. And then my ship moved forward.

That’s what life has to be.

I learned that by having this curveball thrown at me.

Other things that have come across in my life my have also played a part in shaping this philosophy.

My oldest son is a heroin addict and I’ve blamed myself for that, because I wasn’t there for him when he was growing up.

There have been things that have happened to me in my life that have stopped me in my tracks and could have easily caused me to turn life into a pity party and feel sorry for myself.

You deal with the issue. You make it better if you can. You’ve got to learn and this is something I’ve learned as a coach recently.

We as coaches think we’re little gods and we can make everything better for everybody.

“You need to learn to recognize what you own and what you don’t own. And if it’s something you don’t own you have to let it go. You’ve got to let them fail sometimes, you’ve got to let them make their own mistakes.

If you own it, it’s your responsibility to try and make it better and then your ship needs to move forward.

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Men’s Squash and Tennis coach at |

Paul Assaiante is currently the Men’s Squash and Tennis coach at Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut, Professional Speaker and Author. Two-time Olympic Coach-of-the-Year, World Championship Coach and the “winningest coach in college sports history”, Paul Assaiante has motivated top athletes from around the world.